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South Beach Diet - Phase 2

Wake up call

foodiemom's Avatar
From: foodiemom
To: ALL     Posted: Jul-02 04:06 PM (1 of 8)
My husband is working nights in the Emergency Department this week. He's a nurse. He shift ends at 3:30am and it never takes him more than 15 minutes to get home. When I woke up at 4:48 am and he wasn't home I was immediately concerned. There is no way he would cheat on me at this stage of our relationship (maybe in 10 years or more when we are older and bitter, lol, but not at this point.) So I knew there were only 2 possibilities as to why he wasn't home. He was either working late, but hadn't called because he didn't want to wake us, or he'd gotten in an accident on the way home. We recently got rid of our cell phones to save money, so I couldn't just call him without calling the hospital and making a big to do. 
I decided to wait it out for at least 30 minutes. In that period of time there was no way I could go back to sleep and all I could think about was what if he didn't come home. I knew emotionally I would be devastated, but what about the rest. I'm a SAHM that has put off my continued education so that we wouldn't incur more debt while he finishes his education and I'm still in the home. Once the youngest hits school age I'll probably get back in the career world, but right now my husband and kid (soon to be kids) are my career. What would I do if I lost him? It was terribly frightening to consider and I realized that although I have the life I always wanted, it could be ripped away from me in an instant and I am woefully unprepared. For the first time I feel like the fire has been lit under me to prepare for such things as life insurance for my husband and perhaps even myself. I don't even know where I would live. Would I try to stay where we are? How could I? I don't know anyone here, I couldn't afford our current bills unless I worked at least one great full time job and possibly a part time job to go with it. 
Anyway, I eventually freaked myself out enough that I called the hospital and turned out he was just leaving. It had been a busy night and he had stayed late.
Are there any other SAHM's that know they would be completely screwed should something happen to DH. I'm not talking about the emotional aspect because clearly there is no way to prepare for that, but more the financial and housing ramifications. 
I think I may want to go back to school now, just in case, even though it would be another financial hardship for my family. I've never felt so helpless in my life as I did this morning. Before having kids I was always able to support myself, I think I still could support myself, but I don't know how I would manage with kids.
Ky30's Avatar
From: Ky30
To: foodiemom     Posted: Jul-02 04:14 PM (2 of 8)
In reply to this post
My husband has a life insurance policy threw his job for 50,000 and if god forbid something happened to him me and all the kids would get social security death benifit payments. When my Mother lost her husband (my stepdad) to cancer last year it made me think about it so I looked into it you always have to be prepared you never know whats gonna happen.
DesertMomma's Avatar
From: DesertMomma
To: ALL     Posted: Jul-02 04:27 PM via the iPhone app (3 of 8)
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Life insurance, absolutely. It's the only way I would really be able to make it if anything were to happen to him. We have 100,000 on him and 50,000 on me, through his work (USAF) and these are actually the required minimums at his rank. Meaning, at his level we have to carry life insurance but luckily it costs us next to nothing. Get a small policy on each of you, enough to cover at least a few months of bills and necessities- I figure it will take at least that long to be able to function well enough to look for a job or go back to work.
amy_lynn60731's Avatar
To: foodiemom     Posted: Jul-02 04:30 PM via the iPhone app (4 of 8)
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We got life insurance the min my daughter was born. It's to important not to have. We both work but neither of us could do the bills on our own. Also very important that you guys make a will so it's clear how and who will care for you children in the event of your death.
pricelessbaby2's Avatar
To: foodiemom     Posted: Jul-02 04:41 PM via the Android app (5 of 8)
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We have a life insurance policy on my husband, covers enough to pay off our house, which is our only debt, and enough for me to live off of for a while until I figured things out/ time to get on my feet. its a good thing to have just incase the worst thing imaginable happens.
Marronn05's Avatar
From: Marronn05
To: foodiemom     Posted: Jul-02 05:05 PM via the iPhone app (6 of 8)
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If anything happened my husband our mortgage would be cancelled (€285,000) so I could then sell it for a pure profit, I would get a pay out of €250,000 from his company and a yearly salary of €50,000 indefinitely! So it's worth a lump sum of €535,000 or $775,000 in total at the beginning then $75,000 annually every year after! Just a quick Eur to USD calculation!!! Lol morbid thought though!!
Charmelsbaby's Avatar
From: Charmelsbaby
To: foodiemom     Posted: Jul-02 05:46 PM via the iPhone app (7 of 8)
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I totally understand. My husband is on his 3rd deployment to Afghanistan. I have knots in my stomach everyday for a year until he comes home safe. He has a pretty good life insurance policy that would take care of us for a long time, plus we'd get his salary every month. He and I have had the "if something happens to me" talk before all three deployments. It's important to me to know what he wants and it's important to me that he knows my thoughts. That talk sucks every time, but I think it's very important that we know what each of us expects to happen should something happen to either one of us. We will be making our wills now that we have our DS and this one coming. Still, I would rather be dirt poor living on the streets WITH my husband than living off the money I would get from his death. Sigh...
vanessaXO's Avatar
From: vanessaXO
To: Charmelsbaby     Posted: Jul-03 10:41 AM (8 of 8)
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My husband is also military. My husband was in Afghanistan & missed the birth and our DD first 5 months. I cried every single day & worried myself sick. I went into pre-term labor at 33 weeks & delievered & I think its because I was so stressed that it made my body so weak. I am now pregnant with baby # 2 & my husband (crossing fingers) shouldn't be deploying for a few years since he did 3 back to back in his first enlistment. But I also would be completely screwed if god forbid something happened to my DH.